How Does That Happen?

Many of you may know that I found out that I'll be entering the MTC on January 1, 2014.
Yet I still haven't received my call yet. Now how does that even happen? I'm going to tell you how my Friday was.
I started work at 9:30, we aren't suppose to have our cell phones with us on the sales floor. Although since I've been waiting for a text from my Bishop telling my call has been assigned I've kept my phone on me. Well my phone had gone off a couple times so when I stepped in the back room I checked to see who had called me. Two missed calls and a voice message, which was my stake President. Telling me he has a very important question to ask me, and if I could call him back as soon as I could. I instantly became nervous and wanted to throw up. Of course I call him right back, I actually didn't finish listening to the voice measage!
We exchange hellos and how we were doing.
Then he says, " I received a phone call from the mission department, (for me this usually isn't a could thing right? Bad past experience!) Your availability date you put was January 10. The mission you've been assigned you can either go in January 1 or wait till the end of March. He asks me why my date was January 10 so we talked about it. I'm starting to cry because my call has been assigned!! Haha. My Stake President continues on saying the mission department really wants me to go on the 1st.
So I take a couple deep breaths, rushing thoughts about everything! Should I call my mom and ask her? But I think to myself, Aubrey you've waited a very long time for this. If the Lord needs you to go into the MTC on January 1st you shouldn't hesitate to say yes.
The next words I say are "okay, tell them January 1st is fine."
My call will be mailed on Monday and hopefully I get it on Tuesday or Wednesday!!
I guess my Stake President tried to get more information about where I was called to but they wouldn't tell him.
So here I am knowing I go into the MTC in 38 days yet I have no idea where I'm going! Yes I'm going a little crazy about it!! But nonetheless, I'm 100% thrilled that 2014 will be my year to be on my mission!!!
Still a crazy thought to me.
Well this week I will post my call & a video of me sobbing while reading it. :)

I am not a victim of anxiety anymore.

I cannot express my gratitude for the feelings I have today. I would have never guessed a year ago that I would be where I am at. Almost one year ago, the announcement the Church made of the age change for missionaries go serve missions at a younger age. First of all, I remember watching General Conference by myself in my apartment and I fell to my knees crying. The glories moment, even now when I listen to it I'm overwhelmed with joy.  

In one year I've been able to experience enough. A large scale of dating someone serious to having my papers in and just waiting the moment of the white envelope to show up. Although it never did appear. 

I'm still dreaming of this moment. That moment will finally be happening because I finished therapy. I will not be resubmitting my mission papers till November. But I will hopefully be going if it's in the Lord's grand plan for me. (I'm still praying it is & it would help if you did too). 

It seems like a dream to me, as I walked out of the building from therapy tonight it didn't seem real. Being at the finish line it's hard for me to even remember how I allowed myself to become so weak. But thankfully my Heavenly Father is aware that I may become weak. I'm even more thankful that he allowed me to be able to change. It was not an easy change, but I am so thankful I was able to overcome my anxiety. 

I know many people in the last few months that have asked me how I've overcome it. So I'm just going to tell you the different methods I use. 

Please keep in mind that this might not help you. My anxiety came from lack of control, and magnifying each situation.

1. Breathing (start by breathing out, and making sure that when you breath in it's one second longer than you were breathing out).

2. Meditation. (imagine a beach). 

3. Your safe place or a place where you are happy. (Mine is Italy, dancing, San Diego beach or being at a football game).

4.  Is this going to matter in 3 days?

5. Realizing how your physical symptoms happen- that they will not last forever

6. Angel and Devil from Empires New Groove (Devil being your anxiety).

7. Recognizing that there is positive and negative worrying. 

Now if your anxiety is bad enough PLEASE go see a therapist. I would have never gone and I didn't think they were even important but if you make the effort and try to allow the methods to help you they can. 

If anyone has questions about one of the methods I mentioned send me a message and I'll try and explain it to you more.  

Maybe use this as my new missionary picture?? ;)

Thank you for your love and support you've shown me at this time. I couldn't be here without the prayers many of you have said in my behalf. I've been able to grow closer to my Heavenly Father during this trial and I couldn't be happier that He understands me the best. He knows the pains I have experienced. And that's why he is mine and your Heavenly Father. 

Also here is my Mormon.org page. Click Here Go read it! I'm a Mormon and I'm proud to be one. 

2 months down

Honestly, I can't believe that two months have passed since I started therapy. I only have four more months till I can resubmit my papers. :) Sometimes I don't feel like this is even real.
The last two months have been the biggest roller coaster. Most recently I've had moments where I was completely jealous of people who said they had their call or those who say "on my mission".
Which I ended up turning to my best friend who is serving his mission in Philly right now. I just didn't know what to do. I felt like I wasn't doing my best, that I was a complete slacker because I wasn't on a mission. But of course Elder Danner reminded me that there is a reason I am here at this current time. Which he is so right because I'm learning things that I wouldn't learn if I wasn't here.
I came to realize that I had forgotten the things I had already learned when first entering this lesson of my life. But when you are slacking off on the "simple" things you forget what you already know.
I can't explain how important it is to remember the "primary answers" for those of you who aren't part of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints I'll explain what that means.
Primary answers are the don't forget to say your daily prayers, make sure you read your scriptures daily, remember the basic principles of the church. Click here if you have more questions about the "mormons" or LDS church.
Other than that I've done really well. Therapy is really going, I can say I've learned how to manage my anxiety pretty well since the first month was all about identify your anxiety.
My first block of summer classes is almost done. I have two weeks left, than I head into second block. Which I'm looking forward too. A LOT.
Have a wonderful weekend everyone!

LDS mission

As a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. We send out missionaries. As a church we have a restriction on when we can leave on a mission.
Every 6 months we have General Conference where we come together and listen to our Modern Prophets.
We just got amazing news that....
Women are now allowed to leave for missions at the age of 19. And men are allowed to leave at 18.  Women weren't allowed to till 21 of age and men was 18. This is seriously one of the best news ever.
Annoucement

As that happened in the moment all I could do was cry. I've been so torn about Italy and a mission. I now need to go and remove my Italy application. I need to now pray and find out when it will be a good time for me to leave.
There you go folks, I will be going on a mission for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. What a wonderful day.
My facebook is exploding with excitement. :-)