2 weeks away

I finish classes in TWO WEEKS? Say what? No way?!
The beloved place that I've spend way to many hours at in two weeks, I'll be taking a 2 year break if all goes well. Needless to say, right now I'm really really excited not to be going back to school. I might regret saying that in a couple months. But it might not happen considering I got the job at Deseret Book. (well kind of). I don't start right now because of school and such.
I'm really looking forward to being able to work there. It's such a blessing for me, and I know it's going to help me so much in continuing to prepare to resubmit my papers. Only 2 more weeks and I get to take nice/necessary break away from Provo.

On another set of news. I went to the One Direction concert last night. (Judge all you want, it was a blast jumping up and down letting my young self be completely nuts).
Wanna see my favorite video? One Way or Another
Go watch it! They sang this, and it was sooo much fun.

Such a blast with these girls, even if we had to yell at some lady to go find 2 extra seats. This was a night for the books. Thank you to One Direction for making a stop here in Utah. Even if the concert was filled with hundreds of screaming little girls-which totally bursts your eardrums. 

My inspiration

I've said many times that I have some of the most amazing people in my life. The missionaries that are my dear friends who are my example daily. I consider myself as a very lucky girl because of these amazing people who have touched my life.
Yesterday I was invited to go and welcome home the first of my amazing examples. Sister Rachel Ewell. I remember when I said goodbye to her. You can read about it here.
I'm going to try and not make this a novel.  So I'm going to skip some parts here and there.
My co-worker let me borrow his Bronco, and I may have totally locked the keys in the car. So that made it a little more interesting of a morning. I completely blame it on the fact I only got 5 hours of sleep and they weren't a solid 5 hours either. Moving on...
We waited and waited what seemed like forever for the missionaries to walk down. When the first set of missionaries which were 4 Elders walked down, it pretty much had everyone in tears. As they approached the end of the stairs each of their dear mothers went up and hugged them. No one even stopped we all watched them hug. In a perfect line (complete accident). If any of you have been there to watch missionaries come home. You know that moment is a very tend moment for any and all to watch.
Next came Sister Ewell and Sister Carlini (fun fact they were MTC companions). I couldn't stop crying. For the last 18 months all I've gotten from her were letters. And now SHE IS HOME!!

(this picture was taken after a lot of hugging)

For those of you who don't know Rachel was one of my roommates my very first semester of college. She is one of the most spiritual people I can think of and I hope that when I go on my mission that I can be a pinch as amazing as she was. Rachel is a big influence to me. She's actually the one person who really got me thinking about going on a mission. "Well the MTC is the most AMAZING experience of my life. Aubrey I know you say no, but if time comes and you aren't married (hypothetically cause we know you will be) make this your very first priority." -Sister Ewell (this is her second letter to me). 

I still remember the day I read that. I told myself okay. That's a fair enough situation. Here I am 18 months later, making it my very first priority. 

The last two weeks I've really struggled with being confident in my decisions I've made. But after yesterday and talking to Rachel. I have no doubt in my mind that in the last 7 months I've made ever decision I needed to make. I'm where I'm suppose to be. Some of those decisions were really hard to make and I didn't enjoy making them. It is right for everyone. 

I'm so happy Rachel is home, it couldn't have come at a better time. I'm so thankful for her friendship. 

Welcome home Sister Ewell <3 

Thunderstorms

The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints has a policy. It's not just 6 months. It's 6 months from my last anxiety attack.

I don't really remember the exact date of my last anxiety attack. It's about 1 1/2 -2 months ago. Which means I still have at least 4 more months.Yes, this was really hard to hear. 

Tonight I took a walk to the Provo Temple (even though it's closed) while I was there it started to rain. As I walked back home I was in deep thought. Of course we've all heard the famous phrase "Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass, but learning to dance in the rain". As this quote came to mind I couldn't help but realize which moments in my life were the rain storm seemed to be at its strongest points. And of course each thunderstorm has a moment where it's just a couple rain drops here and there. 

I can still remember one of my scariest anxiety attacks I've had. It was a couple weeks after starting therapy. I was in my room and I lost complete control of all of my body. Hardly being able to breath feeling every second of the attack. All I could think of was "when will this stop? Why do I not know how to control this yet?" I've learned how to control my anxiety. Many people don't know how to do this, and that is why I am grateful my Heavenly Father has given me this opportunity to do so.

With that said, I know I'll still have some heavy parts of the rainstorm, it could get worse I have no idea if it will or will not though. But as for now. I will dance in the rain. Because at some point it will all make sense. There is a grand plan that I'm part of, and I know that I made the decision to come here to Earth. Sometimes it's hard to experience our Earthly trials. I know that it will all be worth it one day. I promise to you all it will be. 

As for me right now. I'm still doing school and work full time. I only have 5 more weeks!!! Woot!

In August I will be moving up to SLC (Sandy area with my mom and brother). I can say that I know it's where I need to go right now. I've prayed about it a lot and I know it's right for me. I need to step away from Provo for a short time. For many reasons, and it will be good to have this experience. Of course there will be many things I will miss here. Like being able to walk to the temple. It's time for a change.

Don't forget to dance in the rain. It's okay if you get a little wet. You'll dry.