I am imperfect

I want to tell you, my readers what I've experienced recently. Not to tell you I'm better, but to tell you how I've really struggled at moments while on this journey.
Last Sunday as I started to write my weekly emails to all my favorite missionaries I was filled with tons of self-doubt. Along with a very large fear of being told no again. I've worked so hard this last year to serve a mission I never considered that as happening. I began sobbing, as I wrote all the missionaries and for the first time showing a lot of struggle. I also turned to some amazing friends for advice. I knew that my self-doubt and fears were coming from Satan but I had no idea what I should do.
Satan had gotten to me and I had never faced this problem. Satan had found his way into my mind. Many were able to send me very comforting words from scriptures; D&C 6:36 "...look unto [the Lord] in every thought, doubt not, fear not." Or talks given by our modern Prophets and Apostles.
From Elder Holland, "So how do you best respond when mental or emotional challenges confront you or those you love? Above all, never lose faith in your Father in Heaven, who loves you more than you can comprehend. As President Monson said to the Relief Society sisters so movingly last Saturday evening: “That love never changes. … It is there for you when you are sad or happy, discouraged or hopeful. God’s love is there for you whether or not you feel you deserve [it]. It is simply always there.” 4 Never, ever doubt that, and never harden your heart. Faithfully pursue the time-tested devotional practices that bring the Spirit of the Lord into your life. Seek the counsel of those who hold keys for your spiritual well-being. Ask for and cherish priesthood blessings. Take the sacrament every week, and hold fast to the perfecting promises of the Atonement of Jesus Christ. Believe in miracles. I have seen so many of them come when every other indication would say that hope was lost. Hope is never lost. If those miracles do not come soon or fully or seemingly at all, remember the Savior’s own anguished example: if the bitter cup does not pass, drink it and be strong, trusting in happier days ahead."
I truly am blessed with the most amazing loving people a girl could as for. And I am so luckly that my Jesus Christ died upon the cross for me so that I could have the ever lasting atonement. So that I can be forgiven when I fall short.
I just want you all to know that it is okay to struggle, and when you do turn to our loving Heavenly Father who wants to hear from you. He is the most loving person and we are incredibly blessed that he is there for us to turn to.
I know that our kind Heavenly Father knows I have a very strong desire to serve a mission. I know without a doubt He will always do what is best for me. I will be turning in my mission papers again on Sunday and I am very excited to see what He has planned for me. No matter what/where/when it will be I am ready to do His will.
Don't feel as though you cannot.turn to those whom you are blessed to have in your life. They have been placed in your life for that reason. Thank you all for your prayers, words of encouragment I have felt them endlessly.